I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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