I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize