There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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