So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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