I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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