question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
