The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
