I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
