did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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