dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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