i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
