go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
