when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
