you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
