I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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