He disabled his match.com account in front of me
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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