i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
