Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
