good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
