You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
