I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
