May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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