OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
