I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Randomize
