I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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