Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
