One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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