i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
