I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
