I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I supernannyed him into submission
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
