you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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