I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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