Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
