I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
