This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
