Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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