I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
