How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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