Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
