you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
