Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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