he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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