I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
