Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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