it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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