Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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