So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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