apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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