is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
