She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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