I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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