hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
