Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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