So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
