he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
